Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

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  (561): i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching. http://tfl.nu/cq5g
  Replies (43) Good night (1070) Bad night (5023) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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  (770): Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave. http://tfl.nu/avq0
  Replies (18) Good night (1084) Bad night (4308) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass

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  (617): There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass http://tfl.nu/vj6i
  Replies (17) Good night (3953) Bad night (1772) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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  (515): The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites. http://tfl.nu/ny6g
  Replies (8) Good night (4487) Bad night (1380)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'

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  (703): Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks' http://tfl.nu/njwf
  Replies (14) Good night (5044) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2763) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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  (206): She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/y8c3
  Replies (29) Good night (8801) Bad night (1675) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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  (570): I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar http://tfl.nu/q05v
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (2407) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just found a bag of teeth...

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  (917): I just found a bag of teeth... http://tfl.nu/rg4d
  Replies (18) Good night (1232) Bad night (4589) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.

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  (330): it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with. http://tfl.nu/kix9
  Replies (9) Good night (1168) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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  (707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299
  Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (418)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.

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  (914): Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius. http://tfl.nu/p1hh
  Replies (10) Good night (1501) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..

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  (303): That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end.. http://tfl.nu/ockn
  Replies (19) Good night (415) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.

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  (251): my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car. http://tfl.nu/1aw9
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die

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  (717): Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die http://tfl.nu/2ynw
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (1160)

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