she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
