He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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