I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
