White coat. Heels.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
