girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
