Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
