the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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