I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
soo... how was my night?
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