wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He? As in you personified your dick?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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