It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
