He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
