Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
