I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
