she looked like the bat from fern gully.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
