The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So. Much. Porn.
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