physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
not ubering you a puppy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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