Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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