Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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