i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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