Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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