on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
