so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need a hoe opinion
go on
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize