We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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