is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
