I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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