From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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