Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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