bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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