When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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