Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
