Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize