Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize