you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
