so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize