I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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