I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
