I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
