Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
