dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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