You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
