Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
