people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
