Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
