i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
