im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
