No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
