Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
