Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
