Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
