I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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