hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
