Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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