But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
