Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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