carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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