I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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