Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
