home. puking in laundry basket.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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