okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
