If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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